How Do You Express Anger?
How Do You Express Anger?
07/16/14 James Winston
Anger is a natural emotion, but some may struggle with how to express it in a healthy manner. Learning to express your needs clearly and concisely, as well as, suggesting ways that your needs can be met without hurting others is a more productive, assertive technique than outbursts or suppressing the emotion completely.
Things to remember:
- You may not be able to eliminate anger entirely
- Life can be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and unpredictable situations
- You can’t change some situations, but you can change your perception
- Uncontrollable anger can ruin your health and portions of your life
Below, take a few minutes to assess whether you identify with indicators of outward anger – lack of anger control – or with symptoms of hidden anger – regularly suppressing your anger:
- Is anger the main emotion you express in stressful situations?
- Do you resolve your anger with aggressive versus assertive behaviors?
- Do you often feel like if people cooperated with you that you would alleviate most of your problems?
- Do you have trouble relaxing and or sleeping?
- Do you shake when you are angry?
- Are you easily annoyed and or irritated by other people when they don’t do what you think they should?
- Do you feel hate or rage?
Hidden Anger (in the forms of)
- Procrastination in the completion of imposed tasks
- A liking for sadistic or ironic humor
- Perpetual or habitual lateness
- Sarcasm, cynicism, or flippancy in conversation
- Frequent sighing
- Over-politeness, constant cheerfulness, attitude of ‘grin and bear it’
- Smiling while hurting
- Frequent disturbing or frightening dreams
- Over-controlled monotone speaking voice
- Difficulty in getting to sleep or sleeping through the night
- Boredom, apathy, and loss of interest in things you are usually enthusiastic about
- Slowing down of movements
- Getting drowsy at inappropriate times
- Excessive irritability over trifles
- Sleeping more than usual – maybe 12-14 hours a day
- Waking up tired rather than rested and refreshed
- Clenched jaws – especially while sleeping
- Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching, and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware
- Grinding of the teeth – especially while sleeping
- Chronic depression – extended periods of feeling down for no reason
- Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles
- Stomach ulcers
By looking at the symptoms, do you identify as an individual that struggles with controlling anger or an individual that consistently suppresses anger? Like stress, unhealthy manifestations of anger can take a toll on you emotionally and physically. There are better ways to cope and get your needs met without anger taking control over you. If you have struggle determining better coping mechanisms, seek help from a professional.